he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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