remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
