He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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