Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
