lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
