Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
