did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Only a mothe r could love this liver
People in love make me want to vomit
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
