I'm jealous of your bromance
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
