i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
