you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
