Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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