y did u give ur computer a hand job?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
