omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize