this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
