I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
