im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Four minutes until I can fart!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
