i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
