im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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