He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
