true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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