I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
