you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
ttyl tear gas
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
did you just send me my own nude
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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