So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
