Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
