I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I cut my penus on the lid.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
