I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
