Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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