doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
only if we run a train.
done.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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