Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
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She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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