i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He passed out mid-signature
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
