I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize