Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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