am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
