Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
