And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
