My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
