Me. At least after what I've been through.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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