I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My life is pants optional.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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