After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
