I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I enjoy the company of your penis
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
