He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
