Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
