I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
