Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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