I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize