Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
