They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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