i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
