Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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