Pappa wants mamma naked
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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