I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
