The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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