i permit you to call me
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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