Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
