Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
