is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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