At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
