a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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