Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize