i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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