walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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